Tuesday, March 16, 2010

.357 Lover Fan Fiction - Dave and the Yeti Ghost

Dave was in Durango once and sprinted up the side of a mountain to get a better look at a valley that was supposedly haunted. It was said that if you cross your eyes while looking into the low-lying fog, then you will see apparitions.
He tried this and didn't see anything. Luckily, he had a 3-D picture book in his backpack along with a ghost-hunting app on his iphone. Practicing with the 3-D book failed him as did the phony app.
As he gained steam trotting down the other side of the mountain, he tripped over a log and landed on a damp patch of moss. Before him was the ghost of a yeti. The yeti melted before him and then a band of police officers showed up soon after.
"Hey son, have you seen any ghosts in fur suits?"
"I'm not your son."
They passed by him and jogged up the mountainside. The yeti ghost reappeared like a claymation video in front of Dave, giving him an exaggerated wink. They palled around that day and the yeti ghost showed Dave the difference between old deer antlers and invisible gold.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

.357 Lover Fan Fiction - Bob Cooks With Cinnamon Sometimes

Brad ate at Bob's again. Bob put cinnamon in Brad's soup and asked him to guess what the secret ingredient was. Brad guessed nutmeg, then saffron and finally sriracha sauce. Bob opened a ginger ale and put it in front of Brad.
"What does this taste like?"
"Ginger ale."
"You haven't even tasted it, yet."
"I know what ginger ale tastes like."
"Drink it."
"I don't eat sugar. Or drink it."
"You're no fun, man."
"You know what's fun?"
"Dr. Mario."
Bob repeated it back, correcting Brad's pronunciation with the "a" sounding similar to the word "match".
"That's good."
So, they played 4 hours of Dr. Mario.
Afterward, Bob went home and made a cinnamon-based ravioli and then had mind sex with one of the girls from the tv show "Friends".