Saturday, September 5, 2009

Ted Baxter Fan Fiction



Ted Knight came to the show the other night. He was wearing a white suit with a black tie and his shoes were white but his socks were black. He ordered a seltzer water at the bar from a difficult position between two women who were sitting close to each other. I know this because I stopped doing between-song banter and watched him argue with the bartender over what goes in a seltzer besides seltzer. Ted Knight was turning red in the face over the absence of a maraschino cherry. Werner Klemperer came over and tried to calm him down. It didn't work. Ted Knight's collar began smoking and his head turned to fire like Ghost Rider's skull. We had to stop playing.
We don't play there anymore. Not because of Ted Knight but because the house piano's sustain pedal doesn't work and the sound guy thought we stole their bass amp.

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